


The Dragon's Last Fight (Mama, Do You Love Me Now?)

by Slaygirl1234



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Crazy Azula (Avatar), Depressing, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Stream of Consciousness, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26270188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaygirl1234/pseuds/Slaygirl1234
Summary: Azula thinks back to a time when she was just Azula and the tears sting her eyes.
Kudos: 17





	The Dragon's Last Fight (Mama, Do You Love Me Now?)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this'll get sad. But it's Azula and girl never gets a break.  
> FYI: I sympathise with her, but,,,, I don't really like her.

It takes her too long to realise that she's lost and the world is burning around her. It takes her the cold, hard iron that bites her skin, that roots her to the ground to realise she's finally fallen. She, Azula, Ozai's - the Phoenix King's - daughter, firebending prodigy, Fire Lord-

_No, no, you're not, daughter. Why did you lose?_

When she finally does, she could only watch on in silence as emotions inside her bubbles up, threatening to pierce the steel skeleton she wore ever since she was born. The waterbending peasant - What was her name again? Katara, yes, that was the name her Zuzu screamed out, like it was a desperate plea to the gods, before jumping _directly into the line of fire_ (or rather lightning) - rushes off without a single glance back. 

"Zuko!" She cried out as she bends over the still Zuzu. Zuzu barely seemed to move, and, had it not been for the barest rising and falling of his chest, Azula would've had to accept that sinking suspicion that he was dead. That she killed him, like Mother said she would. 

_Azula, why are you thinking of her? She's dead!_

Zuzu, Azula nearly wanted to say, Zuzu's only faking - he'll get up. It was his own fault anyway - why did he jump into the line of fire? She was the enemy-

Before that thought could fester into her teachings long ago, drilled into her ever since she could breathe, a bright, sapphire light glittered among the red-and-brown surroundings. Such a bright, sapphire light that it took Azula's breath away and stilled her mind. 

No, no, Katara couldn't be- she couldn't be - not the enemy- not the enemy- 

_Yes, look at that disgusting display, Azula. Look at what happened when you failed me._

No matter how much Azula silently screamed at them to stop, Katara kept on glowing and glowing until the light nearly seemed to blind them all. There was a new intake of breath, harsh and ragged, like a dead man breathing again. Her heart desperately clashed against her rib cage and her mouth opened to scream. Scream out all the words that bubbled up ever since she'd been born and festered like a salted wound, about Mother hating her and loving Zuzu _even though she was her daughter_ , about her working so hard to get a glimmer of Father's praise, about toppling all the odds and becoming successful, about how her friends abandoned her after all the years she spent on them, about how they wouldn't kill the last dragon-

Taking away her breath, Zuzu thanks Katara, grasping her hand so gently like, like they were old friends, like they could be lovers - if Zuzu could ever sink that low - and Katara smiles back, parting those soft, pretty lips of hers to reveal pearl-white teeth.

How many times had it been drilled into them that the enemies were never to be trusted? How many times had it been drilled into them that they should never help an enemy, lest the enemy stab them once they turn around? How many times had it been drilled into them that they should, least of all, trust waterbenders (after all, water dampened fire, water killed fire without a second thought!)? 

So, why, why did they embrace like they loved each other desperately, honestly, openly? When had Azula ever hugged someone like that? When had Azula ever been hugged like that? 

Azula thinks back to a time where she was only Azula and the tears sting her eyes. Like wasps settled over her eyelids and thrust their stingers onto her eyelids angrily, hungrily? 

Mai and Ty Lee had hugged her like that, too, but they betrayed her. 

Zuzu had hugged her like that, once, when they were younger and softer, weakened and loved, but Zuzu stared at his band of traitors and rebels like they were his family, like, like he would die for them on instinct (without even asking for them to look back as he did so, without even asking for them to love him). 

Mother had hugged her like that, too, as warm as the sun, and Mother had also hugged Zuzu like that, hugged Father like that, and she nearly made the family feel like a well-functioning one at the table, but, but, before she closed her eyes and let out her last breath and vanished off the Earth, returning to haunt them all like a vengeful ghost, she damned Azula, her own daughter, her own creation, as a monster. 

No words left her mouth, wounding them, breaking them, trying to get back some kind of power, trying to show them that, even chained down to the Earth, she knew how to inspire the right emotion, the right kind of power; the emotions, an unrelenting floodgate that threatened to snap the iron skeleton Azula built over the years, broke everything inside her, broke the, the, the strings that Azula tied around herself to remind herself she could never let go, otherwise they'd descend on her like a pack of wolves. 

_Azula, Azula, Azula, what will you do now?_

_I'm trying, Father, I'm trying-_

_Weakness, weakness, weakness! Azula, you came from a line of dragons - you are the last dragon! Do what you have to! You know what happens if you don't listen!_

With a desire to get even, with a desire to make them feel what she was feeling, she lunged at them, like a cornered animal that had nothing to lose, not even their life, and summoned the fire, look she could even do something cool in blue, into her hands, trying to shoot at them. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair-

But the flames died out once the chains yanked her back. They touched the ground, barely scorching it, before disappearing instantly. The tears finally broke free; they rushed out of her eyes and freely ran on her cheeks, humiliating her with how open it was, with how weak it was, never stopping. As if some part of Azula wanted to embarrass herself. (But, but, Azula secretly admitted the weight seemed to be lifted off of her, even if the memories _burned_ ).

There were sounds of a dying animal, high and screechy and discomforting and skin-prickling, that taunted all of them.

Zuzu and Katara turned towards her, eyes wide and mouth open. Instinctively, Katara pushed him back, standing in front of him protectively, while gazing right into the eyes of the beast. Zuzu's eyes glistened; it was his fault, good, he should cry, yes, yes, yes. God, why didn't he laugh? She knew he hated her, with a burning passion that Father always suggested he did, so why didn't he rejoice? 

(So, why did her heart hurt whenever she looked at him?)

She threw her head back - and screamed. 

She screamed so loud that she swore the Earth shattered and broke underneath her (or, at least, she wished that it happened; she wished for a single sign that her life mattered). 

_Azula, listen to me, stand up! I'm your Father. Get up and fight!_

On instinct, the fires leapt from her hands, but they went nowhere, only touching the ground before flying up and falling back down again. 

Somehow, somewhere, she knew Ozai fell - and perhaps, perhaps, he was wrong after all. (Then, what had all those years been for?)

_Mothermothermother-_

She screamed so loud that the gods would hear the child they cursed. (Could Mama hear her from above, as well? Could she, oh, maybe, maybe, maybe, come down and tell her that she was wrong?)

The tears were good for one thing; they blurred the sight that clenched her throat and strangled her heart. 

_Mama, do you love me now?_

**Author's Note:**

> On the bright side, uhm, I don't know.


End file.
